Victoria BC Therapy Blog

Good-bye Dear Friend: Grieving the Death of a Pet

“But she was just a dog! I shouldn’t be feeling this way and for so long!” Sixty-three-year-old Joseph sat in the chair across from me, tears streaming down his face. Joseph’s wife of 40 years, Emily, sat next to him, her hand resting lovingly on his arm.

“And it’s all my fault,” said Joseph. “I should have let the vet do more chemotherapy. I should have noticed the lump earlier. And I got mad at her last month for getting into the garbage again!”

“You see,” said Emily, “we had Maggie-dog for 14 years and we had to euthanize her about 2 weeks ago. We miss her terribly. Our kids are all grown and I guess Maggie-dog became like our child. I’m not having as much trouble readjusting as Joseph is, so we thought we’d better talk to someone. None of our friends seem to understand. You can’t really talk about this with them anyway.”

Joseph was grieving deeply for the loss of his dog and he was confused about the unexpected depth of his feelings. He felt ashamed because Maggie was “only a dog”, and he felt guilty because of the decision to euthanize her. Read more…


Spiritual Toilet Training

Warning!!! This article contains the words: poop, crap and shit. If these words are offensive to you, or if you still say doo-doo or kaka, please do not read on. If you are a dedicated, curious, spiritual seeker who wonders what the heck spiritual training and toilet training have to do with each other, then by all means, carry on.

First, let’s talk about the “spiritual” part. Read more…


Disturbing dreams…

Dear Dr. C,

I am a 19 year old woman and have been noticing I have been having a very different turn in my dreams lately.   Some are good, some are entertaining but there is also some really disturbing, bad stuff in there and I was wondering if you could help me figure out why.

A dreamer


Dear Dreamer,

A different turn in your dreams could indicate that your inner world is shifting and that something new is on the horizon for you.  Bad stuff in dreams isn’t necessarily “bad” if you know what I mean.

Without knowing exactly what the dreams are and their context in your life, it is pretty difficult for me to give you any specific advice.  I do encourage you to begin to develp a communication with your dreams.  It will open a wonderful, new aspect to your life! Read more…


Eating Disorder is affecting her life!

Dear Dr. C,

I am a 53 year old woman and I have had an eating disorder since I was in high school. Don’t tell me to go into therapy because I have already done that for many years. I’ve talked about my childhood until I’m blue in the face! I’ve done all the “alphabet” therapies: CBT, EFT, EMDR, etc. etc.  My doctor has given me anti-depressants, but they didn’t help. Even though I don’t throw up any more, I still think about food about a million times a day. Recently I gained 5 pounds that I just can’t lose. I hate myself so much for gaining the weight that I have purged and taken laxatives recently. But, at my age, it is physically difficult for me to purge any more.  I am frustrated and hate myself. I don’t even know what you could say but anything will help.

Signed,  Desperate

Read more…


Anxiety and Fear: What to do?

Dear Dr. C.,

Basically, on one level, there’s nothing wrong with my life.  I’m a 55 year old divorced woman (no children) who has a good career, a nice apartment, a dog that is my best friend.  Sure, there are things I’d like to have that I don’t have.  I’d like a loving partner, for example (I haven’t had sex in a loooong time!)  I’d like to pay off my credit cards.   I wish I had more time to do some things I should be doing like yoga or meditation.  But basically these are minor complaints.  Generally, I’m quite ok.  Read more…