Victoria BC Therapy Blog
Dear Dr. C.,
Three weeks ago, our sweet dog, Elly, died. She was a rescue dog from Mexico and my husband and I had her for 12 years. She was our best friend and we took her everywhere with us. She had been sick, off and on for a few months and the vet didn’t really know why. Then one night she was struggling to breathe and we took her to the emergency animal hospital and she died. They gave us her ashes and we have them in our bedroom. But the thing is, I just can’t seem to stop crying and I can’t go to work and I don’t want to have any friends over or go out, and my husband is getting really mad at me. Read more…
When my son was around 6 years old, for some now forgotten reason, I decided it was good for him to put his napkin on his lap during meals. Perhaps I thought it would cut down on laundry! In any case I was really bugging him about it and it was becoming a source of friction between us at mealtimes.
One day I said to him: “I am surely tired of nagging you about this, and it doesn’t seem to help anyway. Can you suggest any plan we could have to help you remember to put your napkin on your lap before you eat?” He looked at me and said: “Say mopplestopple”.
To myself I thought: “Huh? Mopplestopple? What the heck does that mean? “ Out loud I said: “OK, that’s the plan. I’ll say mopplestopple and you’ll know what I mean.” Read more…
Did you ever see the movie Urban Cowboy when John Travolta was still thin? I happened across it recently and when I heard the opening lines from that great theme song -“Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” – I started to think about all the wrong places and faces we look to.
The most expensive date I ever had cost me $1200 back in 1987! (That’s about $2100 worth today!) Are you thinking something like great restaurant, Dom Perignon and beluga caviar? Actually, no. We just had coffee!
Let me explain. Like many women, I bought the belief it’s real important to have a man. I couldn’t possibly be happy, nor could I consider myself a success, unless I had a man in my life.
When my second marriage failed, my already low self-esteem was really in the toilet! Since I was raised to believe men are what have value and men are what give value, I set about to find me one.
One of the things I did was sign up for a very expensive dating service that turned out to be a very expensive scam and hence the very expensive aforementioned cup of coffee!
Like the song says, I was looking for love in all the wrong places!.
In the past few weeks I’ve listened to many clients in my therapy practice here in Victoria, BC tell me how they’d be happy if they just had (take your pick) more money, a baby, less fat, a loving partner, more sex or more recognition.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not for a minute saying it’s not OK to want these things or to have them. All I’m saying is that, ultimately, we can’t find freedom if our contentment depends on something outside of us.
Once we realize we’ve been looking in all the wrong places we have the chance to wake up and look for love in the right place, which is inside. Then, we can cease from giving and receiving in the name of love and learn to live from the state of love, which is supremely free.
The yearning we feel is not going to be satisfied with something outside. Another golf game, a great movie, a new lover or a gourmet meal, is not really what we are here for.
We’re here to purify our hearts and live in the awareness that arises from that purification. When that happens, we experience the pleasures and pains of life from a different perspective. We experience an inner contentment that is beyond desires. We experience Love.
Don’t miss this 2-day workshop with Dr Corrinne Allyson on Sunday March 3, and Sunday March 10 at Royal Roads University.
For those interested in personal growth and transformational experiences, dreams are a valuable and powerful tool. They can be a magical and even mystical experience. Read more…
Listen to therapist Dr. Corrinne Allyson answer questions about the power of dreams in an interview with Gregor Craigie on CBC’s “On the Island” here in Victoria, BC.