Victoria BC Therapy Blog
Did you ever see the movie Urban Cowboy when John Travolta was still thin? I happened across it recently and when I heard the opening lines from that great theme song -“Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” – I started to think about all the wrong places and faces we look to.
The most expensive date I ever had cost me $1200 back in 1987! (That’s about $2100 worth today!) Are you thinking something like great restaurant, Dom Perignon and beluga caviar? Actually, no. We just had coffee!
Let me explain. Like many women, I bought the belief it’s real important to have a man. I couldn’t possibly be happy, nor could I consider myself a success, unless I had a man in my life.
When my second marriage failed, my already low self-esteem was really in the toilet! Since I was raised to believe men are what have value and men are what give value, I set about to find me one.
One of the things I did was sign up for a very expensive dating service that turned out to be a very expensive scam and hence the very expensive aforementioned cup of coffee!
Like the song says, I was looking for love in all the wrong places!.
In the past few weeks I’ve listened to many clients in my therapy practice here in Victoria, BC tell me how they’d be happy if they just had (take your pick) more money, a baby, less fat, a loving partner, more sex or more recognition.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not for a minute saying it’s not OK to want these things or to have them. All I’m saying is that, ultimately, we can’t find freedom if our contentment depends on something outside of us.
Once we realize we’ve been looking in all the wrong places we have the chance to wake up and look for love in the right place, which is inside. Then, we can cease from giving and receiving in the name of love and learn to live from the state of love, which is supremely free.
The yearning we feel is not going to be satisfied with something outside. Another golf game, a great movie, a new lover or a gourmet meal, is not really what we are here for.
We’re here to purify our hearts and live in the awareness that arises from that purification. When that happens, we experience the pleasures and pains of life from a different perspective. We experience an inner contentment that is beyond desires. We experience Love.
Don’t miss this 2-day workshop with Dr Corrinne Allyson on Sunday March 3, and Sunday March 10 at Royal Roads University.
For those interested in personal growth and transformational experiences, dreams are a valuable and powerful tool. They can be a magical and even mystical experience. Read more…
Listen to therapist Dr. Corrinne Allyson answer questions about the power of dreams in an interview with Gregor Craigie on CBC’s “On the Island” here in Victoria, BC.
EXPLORING THE POWER OF DREAMS
with Dr. Corrinne Allyson
FREE evening lecture at Royal Roads University
Thursday, Feb 7th
7pm – 9pm
Have you ever wondered about what your dreams mean? Are you interested in learning more about how to work with your dreams?
Dreams can be better than the movies and more real than virtual reality. They can be more frightening than a Stephen King movie, more fanciful than a Walt Disney movie and yes, even more sexy than an X-rated one. What are dreams? Why do we dream?
Our innermost being communicates with us through the symbols and metaphor of the dream world. They can give us new insights into our basic identity, values and personal needs. Dreams can help us better understand ourselves and provide road maps to take us in new directions. They can also clarify our relationship issues, our professional conflicts and guide us to transpersonal insights of ourselves as part of the greater Whole.
I invite you to join me for a free evening lecture at Royal Roads University.
Call Royal Roads at 250-391-2600 ext. 4801 to reserve your place.
Why are so many current psychological approaches and practices focused on mindfulness? Why would one want to become mindful? The simple answer is that practicing being mindful leads to awareness of and freedom from mental conditioning.
‘Mindfulness’ is the translation of a term from Buddhism (although one definitely does NOT have to be a Buddhist to practice mindfulness). Essentially, mindfulness means awareness. It is an awareness of present experience that is sensitive, accepting and independent of any thoughts that may be arising. It is a way of paying attention to what is happening with kind of a ‘witness’ consciousness, a dual awareness, so to speak. With awareness we can experience our feelings, thoughts and sensations without becoming caught in them.
Usually we are kind of on automatic pilot. Our experiences pass by with our reality dominated by an unbroken stream of internal comment. We go through life in a reactive mode, responding to life from habitual patterns.
And it’s a funny thing about Life… it never seems to turn out the way we plan. No matter how much we prepare, organize, coordinate and arrange, something often happens to throw a monkey wrench into our plans. Read more…