Victoria BC Therapy Blog

Why Psychotherapy?

Not long ago, one of my clients softly told me:  “I’m falling in love with myself.”  We sat for a while together, gently holding this knowing as you would hold a baby bird in the palm of your hand.

In those few words, we find the goal of psychotherapy.  We come to psychotherapy so that we can come to love ourselves.

It seems that at the root of virtually all of the issues brought to my office is some form of self-judgement, self-criticism or self-hatred.  In Sanskrit, in an ancient Eastern tradition, it is called the Anava Mala.  It is an impurity that is imprinted in our separation from our authentic self.  As we heal this wound of separation through the journey inward, there truly is more love. Read more…


Essence of Rose


the feelings left behind
as you struggled to survive.

As rose petals 
fallen from a branch of thorns,
distill the painful memories
to their essence.

Let the fragrance of Truth
in its purity
free you from yourself.

Victoria, BC
Aug. 2, 2012


On Willingness

by Rev. Master Chosei Swann
Shasta Abbey, Mt. Shasta CA – USA

If I were asked to say in brief what is uppermost in my mind on the subject of the spiritual path, it would perhaps run as follows.

Believe and try. Let us all together go patiently all the way to the very heart of the matter. Let us not be distracted or delayed, or waste time in frustration over what seems to distract or delay us. Let us not draw a line, saying, “This is far enough for me.” If we do this, we shall be like those fish in shallow water, suffocating slowly in the insufficiency we have somehow chosen for a refuge. Whenever we cling to expectations of health or self improvement or a a partial cleaning up of our life-habits, we briefly experience relief. And then we slowly but surely suffocate in the incompleteness of our aspirations. Read more…



It’s a curious human condition that no matter how much we receive it never seems to be enough.  Only this week I’ve heard laments from friends and clients feeling discouraged because what they want to happen might not happen.  Worse, they’re terrified that what they don’t want to happen, might!

One guy got a cheque from a client for $10,000…which, he was quick to point out, would only cover the bills for a couple months. Another guy, who lives in a gorgeous home, has two cars, a loving relationship and good health, is worried his business isn’t going to make it.  I know I should be grateful, he told me, but… Read more…


Learn how to heal grief…

As a follow up to my previous post on grief counselling, I’d like to let you know that Stephen Jenkinson is speaking in Victoria BC June 1-2 at Royal Roads University.

Stephen Jenkinson is the subject of Griefwalker, a NFB feature documentary film.  The film is a lyrical, poetic portrait of Stephen’s work with dying people. Griefwalker shows Stephen teaching the redemptive power of deep love for life, when life glimpses its end and how he is revolutionizing grief and dying in North America. Read more…